Shuffling the pack but still too many jokers. No sooner had I set up my new AGOG party than BOJO, suddenly realising there might be an effective opposition outside his siblings, undertook, word chosen carefully, a cabinet reshuffle. I have always found, whenever I shuffle, that the first thing to do is remove the jokers. Little surprise then that the first removal was that of Gavin Williamson, a man more unsuited for the job he found himself in than if Piers Morgan had been asked to supervise quiet in the library.
Next BOJO shifted a few people around. DORA was moved from the Foreign Secretary role to that of Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice. He was also given the role of Deputy Prime Minister which doesn't mean much really. I suppose DORA will stand in, by satellite phone from his sun-bed in wherever, whenever BOJO goes off and finds a who'll pay for it this year, sun-bed. Robert Buckland, who, by all accounts, was doing a really good job as Justice Secretary was obviously sacked while Pretty Petal, the recumbent Home Secretary, (yes I meant that) wasn't. She, along with Chancellor RISU stayed on.
There were loads of other appointments but the most fascinating was Brutus Gove, he of the knife-in-the-back fame. When BOJO was elected PM, Brutus had been given the wide ranging position of Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, thereby representing the Queen, who is the Duke of Lancaster (that's another long story). He was also responsible for BREXIT preparations, having been an avid supporter, overseeing constitutional affairs and maintaining the integrity of the Union. During COVID he was part of the Inner Cabinet Committee that made many of the decisions, after taking scientific advice of course, on dealing with COVID, As you can see, he hasn't got much going for him, so BOJO moved him to be Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government. In the surest sign yet that BOJO is expecting the Union to split, he kept Brutus in charge of making sure it didn't. In actual fact this reshuffle downwards, sideways, diagonally or even upwards was quite lucky for Brutus. Someone found some old speeches he made when he was younger and they were not that good if you don't believe in racism, sexism or homophobia. Whether these speeches have made it into a collection on his wife's bookcase, I cannot say. Conveniently, for now, these were eclipsed by the reshuffle and no one seemed to mention them again. Till now; haven't seen it yet but standard statement about "all doing silly things when we're young" will no doubt appear. We all make mistakes, some worse than others. Now Michael, your view on letting Shamima Begum back into the country or is her new stance just for show. Is that what people do to curry favour? My other moan this week is about the press, the media, those who set out to make ordinary people into something they're not so that these people find it impossible to cope with life. Emma Raducanu played an amazing game of tennis last Saturday to win the US Open. Her game was brilliant and I loved watching it. I would expect it to be all over the papers on Sunday, maybe Monday but that's it. There were still stories today, a week later, with that disgusting, in my view, rag, the Daily Mail, apparently having a story of why Emma's doting grandmother worries about her. I only saw the headline so I have no idea what the story said but I would, politely, contend that it is just such writing that will cause any future problems Emma may have. She has chosen to be a professional tennis player. So far, she has done very well. In future she will lose some games. I would almost know that these unsavoury editors and journalists will run week-long stories about what is going wrong. Watch this space. P.S. I have made no mention of Nadine Dorries being appointed Culture Secretary. Words have genuinely failed me. 26 September 2021Proving our leader is a muppet. I'm writing this before the official announcement but it appears that as we have a shortage of HGV drivers because of COVID, in which we were leading the world in vaccines and track and trace etc,, we are going to create up to 5,000 temporary visas to allow in foreign drivers who will come from countries who lack our sheer brilliance and ability coping with the disease. Presumably, had the shortage been due to BREXIT, heaven forbid, we would have vaccinated 5,000 foreign drivers but not allowed them in. This government is a joke. They expect us, the public, the voters, to believe the biggest load of crap any politician has ever spouted forth. You listen to when a spokesman is asked a question and the answer has no relevance to the question but they hope we didn't realise that and instead are impressed with their answer. An example, which I'm sure has never happened:
Question; The department you are responsible for needs at least £5 million more to carry out its duties.
Answer from spokesperson or minster: We have invested a record amount this year.
Next Question should be; Well, dumbo, as your department is still short by £5million it's obviously not enough and why are you so proud of not doing enough. Unfortunately, that never happens but I can assure the government most of the population are not fooled by their tactics. In fact, to some of us, it is cringe-worthy. Talking of cringe-worthy brings me to Kermit the Frog and BOJO's inane attempt to use humour. Of course I may have over-estimated him and perhaps he is just inane. This blog, however, can now announce BOJO's latest release on the sticky label. The words are printed below. Halfway to the truth is the way that I speak.
I talk to my spokesperson like that every week
I don't tell the truth, I don't tell lies,
I just blunder nonsense which should be no surprise. Halfway to the truth isn't wrong and isn't right
Some people don't believe me, but some might
And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head.
Which isn't fit for government, it's somewhere else instead.
Halfway to the truth is the way that I speak.
I talk to my spokesperson like that every week
I don't tell the truth, I don't tell lies,
I just blunder nonsense which should be no surprise.