2 October 2022.

Yes, you're right; you read it here first. I quote from last week's epistle "Are you spotting the problem here? Khasi wants everyone to spend to give growth, the Bank of England wants everyone to slow spending to curb inflation. To my mind and probably that of a demented flea with Alzheimers, there is a contradiction here.". By early last week the IMF, hedgefund managers, currency dealers and indeed the whole world had seen it too.

The £ started to fall seriously against the dollar. People were worried about how much borrowing the tax cuts would create. Khasi reacted immediately by announcing there would be even more tax cuts soon and the £ fell further. Khasi was obviously delooded. It then got too complicated for me as the Bank of England started buying long-term government bonds. This was all to do with yields soaring and government debt being more expensive.

It turns out that Lib and Khasi could have done a better job, actually Sooty could have done a better job, but Lib and Khasi could have if they had also mentioned their plans (assuming they have some) for supply–side economics. I think this is connected to trickle–down economics but it means that in order for the wealthy, to whom you have just given massive tax cuts, to spend their new found extra couple of thousands (per week) you have to also decrease regulations (and further encourage creative accountancy (think Panama) and free up any trading restrictions. A major part of supply–side economics is based on the Gaffer's curve. This happens when the boss increases your money, you spend it, it brings economic growth and the government have more tax revenue from the amount you spend.

Supply–side economics also can result in higher employment. This happens because instead of loading all your goods through the tailgate of your lorry, and having the same people take them out again, you can load them on one side and take them out the other, thereby needing two separate crews.

Trickle–down economics has been tried many times before especially in the USA, the most famous being by Ronald Reagan, the cowboy who befriended Margaret Thatcher as he thought she was Annie Oakley. His version was called Reaganomics. This new version, to be called Cartonomics partly after Khasi Carton, our new Chancellor, but also partly because he worked out the figures on the side of an Amazon carton which was returned in 14 days before the OBR could get their hands on it.

The economist J K Galbraith who wrote a book that Khasi may be using called The Effluent Society, said that trickle down economics not only led to an increase in effluence but also was once called the horse and sparrow theory. In simple terms if you feed the horse enough oats (give money to the rich) some will pass through the said horse and be deposited on the road as food for the sparrows (the poor). In other words, let them eat shit, in the famous words of Marie Anne Toilet.

By the way, although I am anonymous, I can reveal similarities with the new Chancellor. I won a prize in Harrow and was born in Newcastle. I also had some thoughts on the recoinage crisis of 1695 wondering whether it was caused by putting Mary's head on too many coins or if the final demise of the duo, maybe a forerunner of Lib and Khasi, was anything to do with being approached by a man in a black velvet waistcoat.

I do hope this little piece of eaten oats has helped you understand more about what Lib and Khasi have been doing. Sadly this week they played hide and seek for a while until Lib emerged to play a game of "Just A Minute" with local radio stations where she deviously managed to repeat the same hesitation for each station. I bet if she went on "What's My Line" nobody could possibly guess she was the Prime Minister of a G7 country who knew what she was talking about.

This brand new era (still pronounced error) is really taking shape though constantly changing; a bit like a plasticine Morph. Take Hart my friends.

9 October 2022.

The Tory party conference is gone and the autocue has been removed meaning Lib Truss can now look straight ahead and talk to her friends, her friends. Her performance can best be described as wooden, at worst, splintered. Voice does matter in public life but, more importantly, so does intonation. A monotone, metronome delivery will more likely lose you friends than gain any.

After watching her performance, the question I wanted answered was why did any sane member of the party vote for her against Rishi Sushi? Did some fluke occur within Sushi's votes and infect the final result. In all the leadership debates she came across exactly as she is now. Wooden. No personality. Now, while one must applaud a politician who does not waver from their abilities, why would you want someone with those particular qualities as your leader?

A more important question is what the hell do you do now you have got her? Ousting her anytime before the next election would be certain death for the Tory party. It would demonstrate unfailingly to the electorate that party members cannot choose a good leader, a reasonable leader, so maybe the whole party is bereft of any intelligence; a not unreasonable thought by the way. This, however, is an incentive for Lib to not call a sudden election but stay on till January 2025 if she can.

In Lib's cabinet the old tradition of collective responsibility has gone right out the window and way into Quenya, the land of shadow (not quite as far as the shadow cabinet though). Penny Mordo has already announced a few policies which Lib had not yet made her mind up on (I'm not totally sure the "up and on" need to be there but hey ho, let's give her some credit. You can't not have a mind and constantly change it. A mind must be there).

Meanwhile Moggwood Mount Doom is arguing with Lib about telling people to turn their lights off and how to use a switch. Lib doesn't think such advice is helpful, remembering when someone told her to talk turkey at a previous Tory conference and she, mistakenly, talked pork. Lib, and indeed Khasi, have no idea of reality; they are, to use a phrase she will possibly be familiar with, pigs in blankets, snuggled a a smokey back with no view of the real world.

All–in–all it's been a fairly quiet week for those of us who like to grump. The wondrous U-turn from the farcical event was totally expected. I mean you don't keep saying we will not do something unless you know you are actually going to do something. That way you have a platform to show how strong you are in your views but how sympathetic you are, how good you are, as a listener. The one problem with Lib and Khasi was that on Sunday afternoon they were still claiming that they were not changing their policies but by Monday morning they had listened to everyone and things changed.

The "everyones" had been saying things for some time (a week is a long time in politics Harold) so to only notice this late Sunday night is not an amazingly good point. There were so many good points in the farcical mini-budget event that, according to Khasi the delooded, this minor point of giving loads of money to those that already had it was a distraction. I mean the energy cap was being ignored. That is the energy cap that wasn't really an energy cap and the energy cap that wasn't actually in the farcical event either, having been announced days before.

If distractions are such a bad thing I do need to ask why everyone was so pleased about the Greenpeace protestors who caused a distraction during Lib's monotone monologue and allowed her to stand still for nearly a minute with a completely vacant expression on her face which, it must be said, removed the need for a head-scan at any future date.

Furthermore, on this distraction kick, we should look closely at the case of Connor Burns and his removal from the party. What's happening that we are missing while this is being discussed? What is the point of this exercise although, to be fair, I sometimes find my thighs burn after a heavy session in the gym.

16 October 2022.

This week's piece will be necessarily short, I have realised that nothing I could write here could ever, even marginally, be more amusing than the things now going on in the Tory party or to be more precise the government of Lib Truss. In fact, I nearly started writing this on Saturday afternoon after editing a video for the real job I do and I realised what a mistake that would be. So much happens so quickly that for all I know Nigel Lawson could be back as Chancellor and Michael Heseltine helicoptered (Westland of course) into no 10 Downing Street. To be honest any wax dummy of a previous Tory leader from Madame Tussauds could be more alive than the present incumbent of that house in Downing Street..

Every day of the week both before and since 5th September 2022 contains the letter Y in its spelling but it is only since that date that every action taken by the Tory party is followed by the sound of that same letter.

• Liz Truss became leader; why?
• At a time of national crisis, galloping inflation where the poorest in society are finding it impossible to make ends meet, Lib, as we know her in deference to her LibDem days, Truss and her chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng, or Khasi Carton as we know him because we knew how it would end, took 5p off the highest rate of income tax thereby benefiting the richest in Society; why?
• Twelve hours before making a screeching U–turn and cancelling this decision both Lib and Khasi said they would not change their minds; why?
• A few hours before sacking Khasi, Lib said she had complete faith in him; why?
• Having campaigned for the Tory leadership on the package Khasi, now completely down the pan, flushed with no success and completely out of Lib's cistern, introduced, Liz sacked the man who implemented her philosophy; why?
In his leaving letter Khasi said he still believed in Lib's policy which was now dead and buried; why? - oh wait, I can answer that one, to make her look stupid although that was quite unnecessary as she needs no help in achieving this.
• Lib Truss thinks it is a sign of her strength to answer every question put to her with the same answer even though that answer actually answers none of them; why?
• And with the whole government, country, party and office of state crashing around her, she appoints Hunt the Shunt as the new Chancellor; why?

Shunter's last experience in cabinet was at the Foreign Office. Does she expect a ex-appointee from there to have any idea on figures. Surely she, better than anyone, must know that. But wait, Shunter supported Rishi Sushi for Tory leader. Shunter is one of the few members of the cabinet not to be a Truss supporter. Shunter has held two of the three great offices in government (he's also twice failed to become leader but let's forget that for now) If the Tory party decide to get rid of Lib with a vote of no–confidence and give someone a clear run and not involve those 180,000 lemmings in choosing a leader, Shunter would surely be first choice, assuming no Westland helicopter is available. And who might he appoint as his Chancellor? Exactly. We could be where nearly every Tory MP and Tory party member didn't want us to be.

Oh, those strong and stable days under Theresa May. Where are they when you most want them?

23 October 2022

In 1066 we had three leaders of our country in one year. One died, one was killed in battle and the other remained for 21 years. In 1936 we had three Heads of State in our country in one year. One died, one abdicated and the other remained as Head of State for 16 years. In 2022, so far, we have had three heads of government in one year. Two were forced from office, at a stretch they abdicated, and it is doubtful, once we know who it is, if the other will last more than two years.

I've given you this brief history lesson to show that what is happening at the top of government this year is pretty unique. It is true that in 1827 we nearly had four Prime Ministers in one calendar year and indeed we did have four in a twelve month period. Lord Liverpool, George Canning, who died in office after 119 days, Viscount Goderich who lasted 144 days but did manage to make it to 1828 and then the Duke of Wellington who was having the second of four goes at being PM.

So, how come 81,326 members of the Conservative Party and 113 MPs thought Liz Truss would make a good PM. It was obvious, based on her performances in front of the media over the years, that she would not. It was also blatant that if she introduced her brand of economic theory, trickle–down or whatever you want to call it, at a time of high inflation it would fail especially if you added in to that the help that was needed to make sure the poor, and indeed the not–so–poor could afford to light and heat their homes. Those that matter in the world of government finance would see it as very risky and seeing such a thing is never helped by deciding not to have an independent appraisal of what you are doing. She has been a total failure and, no, I do not have any sympathy for her. In life you need to be able to judge your own limitations because if you can't, you will certainly be unable to judge those of the people around you. If you can't do that, you have no hope as a leader.

In our stupid little modern world where every one must not only have an equal chance but must be judged as equal, this is what happens. There are many jobs available that I know I could not do. I do not want an equal opportunity to try them. I want the chance to achieve my best but not "the best",

Charles Walker, an MP of 17 years, put it best when he said he was fed up with being led by talentless people. He said that the Truss Government was "an absolute disgrace" and implied, or possibly slightly more than implied that people were voting for our leaders because they wanted a ministerial job. They were putting themselves and their ambitions before caring about the damage it would do.

With that thought in mind you may be amazed to learn that, according to the BBC, as I write this on Saturday night, at least 53 Tory MPs have pledged their support to the return of Boris Johnson, a man who many people within his party had said was unfit to govern when he was PM last time. In fact BOJO's supporters claim he already has over the 100 MP support required to go forward to a vote. It seems Rishi Sunak also has over 100 supporters, even though the rank and file members of the Tory party rejected him. Whatever happens, it would appear the next leader will certainly be a reject from some role.

I have a feeling that all these events are being scripted by a return of the late Brian Rix, famous for his many Whitehall farces. The word Whitehall being the theatre at which his plays were often performed. Oh, and in 1966 he went on tour with a play called "Uproar in the House". I kid you not.

30 October 2022

For those of you who have followed these grumps over the years, you will know that some are short and some are long. I have also, many, many, times, wondered what planet, what civilisation, what human grouping, our leaders exist in.

We have a new PM. Fine. He was the only person nominated by his MPs. His aim is to bring stability to government after the last few months. He promises integrity. He then appoints as Home Secretary the person who a week before had resigned because she broke the ministerial code in a pretty serious way. How can this demonstrate integrity. To me, it demonstrates the fact that if you make a mistake but, when found out, apologise, after it would seem like a period of denial as to the exact events, then everything is fine. In the medical profession, and many others, a mistake can result in you being struck off, unable to continue your career.

Are we to assume that all racist comments made in the sporting world that people now apologise for means they can then go about their business as before?

Rishi Sushi is displaying the same behaviour as his predecessor BOJO. We, the public, can see it. There will never be trust in politicians while this is going on. Subaru, or whatever her name is, should be removed from any office of state. The assent and legacy of Subaru is over. Justy must be seen to be done. Oh, an idea. Put her on a plane to the outback.